Random BS

Ok... how about some RANDOM BULLSHIT out of nowhere while I'm trying to put out a blog (in RED hopefully) by Halloween.

The journey from my hotel to a nearby gas station this evening was completely suffering from BULLSHITITIS. Remember this is filler shit. I'm throwing you a bone...

AND BY BONE I MEAN SHIT FROM THE ANUS OF A BULL.

Sometimes you can't just get from POINT A to POINT B without certain deviations from the your normal plan. My plan of course being an odyssey of epic proportions may have been slightly exaggerated but yet real to the concept of HOOD TRAVEL vs. NORMAL MOTHERFUCKER FEELING SAFE ABOUT ONE'S SITUATIONAL AWARENESS kind of travel. 

I WAS KILLED ALMOST 11 TIMES!!!!!!

Ok ... maybe it was just 7.

Sorry, maybe more like 5. Yeah 5 seems more like it.

But those two dudes with COCK SMASHING white guy heat seeking missiles may be OVER THE TOP ... SOOOO...

Maybe it was just 2 GUYS!

2 GUYS that wanted my money (from my back pocket) at all costs.

BUT

Actually those 2 guys were just panhandling and weren't quite aggressive at all... as a matter of fact they were begging me for change. 

AND WHEN I mean change... I mean like change that a single dude might except on a simple route from POINT A TO POINT B that really didn't have challenges at all.

SOOOOO...

Ok, so there was like this guy that asked me for some spare change AND I GAVE HIM LIKE $1.87 in change.

So there you have it. I gave some money to a homeless guy on the street.

SHIT THAT WAS FUCKING SCARY! 

Anywho ... new shit around Halloween.

AGENT NEPTUNE

tl;dr

It would appear that GIF's are now working.

This might be the start of something good.

This is where I post my title.

This is where I post some content.

This is a simple test.

As one can see here in this picture, the complexity of a 60 watt lightbulb goes beyond the scope of human comprehension.

FLASHLIGHTS SUCK!

I think one of the stupidest inventions ever has to be the flashlight! Who the hell needs flashlights anyway? They are useless! Even the name is stupid. It just means you're a dumbdouche that has not been doing your job memorizing where the fuck everything is while there was daylight. Besides only pussies need flashlights anyway. Heck a real badassador would rip their shirt off and wrap it around a table leg and fire up a TORCH!!!

When your power goes out - the sound of smoke detectors buzzing in your place is a sure sign of a TORCH carrying BOSS, and not a flashlight toting puss!

As one can see in this image - Jackie Chan couldn't agree more!

The only thing flashlights are good for are cracking skulls! Especially on Halloween or the 4th of July when you are completely sick of some of the water heads orbiting you OR maybe you'd just like to stomp someone's ass down to the ground with your boots, take their flashlight and hold it right up to their eyeballs - clicking that fucker on and off demonstrating your love for their retinas. ONLY THEN when you're tired of doing that you can pick them back up and crack their noggin with it. Then ask them...
 

"Do you like flashlights now?" Do ya?

Agent Neptune

Festus (Fallout: New Vegas)

 

Damn it Festus we're NOT old pals! I have given the entire Mojave wasteland the BLUE GLOVE treatment searching for those Sunset Sarsaparilla star bottle caps! I have been shot at, burned, eaten by ghouls, drowned while getting my shit raped by Lakelurks. I'VE DIED 15 TIMES TODAY FROM RADIATION POISONING... GIMME MY PRIZE YOU PUPPET PRICK!


http://steamcommunity.com/id/agentneptune/

AGENT NEPTUNE