In a delusional fit, SJ vows revenge…
"I'll chase him 'round the moons of Neptune
and 'round the Suburban Maelstrom and 'round perdition's flames before I give him up!"
Frustrated beyond the ninth circle of hell, SJ begins his assault. He doesn't just hop the fence, he deletes it like a bad hologram prop. His four legged opponent retaliates swiftly with a burst of thought fuckery - exploding SJ's nutsack into a thousand pieces. Completely unimpressed with this move, SJ clones himself, mind melds with the clone, picks up his old body and tosses it in the air - setting it ablaze with a summoned firestorm from his backyard hibachi and catapults the Molotov Jesus at nut mutt splattering it into a smoky chum hellhole.
"Is that all you got Nazarene?" laughed the malevolent mutt.
Infuriated and enraged, Spazz Jesus (using a single thought) creates a legion of psycho sky-gremlins with blowtorches for eyes. He then mind fucks them into blind obedience and sends them over to the devil dog's lair with then intent of utterly destroying the ball coveting beastie. Surrounded by an all-star team of eyeball blazing scorching deliverers of incineration, the assault works its way into the street. SJ picks up a sewer lid…
… and flings it at the hell hound but it catches it like a Frisbee and uses it as a shield but it's too late - the legion of psycho sky-gremlins begin their pillaging. The dog flog smack down continues until the beast is left in a rubble of ash. But the rubble of ash still has some cellular activity and takes over SJ's thoughts by making him think he's getting ambushed by his own army. He quickly gathers his thoughts and shakes it off, passes around an arsenal of super-soakers to his gang (filled with a fine mix of Xylene and holy water), strikes a match and tosses it as the final bukakke begins leaving the remaining evil cells smoldering in a crimson fire of carnage.
But... unsatisfied with that, he takes his anger out on the atoms of the evil cells by splitting them and turning the shit sniffer into an exploding H-Bomb ... then kicks the H-Bombs ass for blowing up too close to him. Still angered, SJ takes a radioactive shit on the fucking neighbor's doorstep so toxic it kills the next 300 years of flies within a 600 mile radius. He then rings the doorbell, asks for toilet paper, proudly wipes his deity ass cramming the toilet paper into the neighbors face, blogs about it and rubs one off in victory to himself!
Everyone: Car !
(car passes)
Everyone: Game on !
… and flings it at the hell hound but it catches it like a Frisbee and uses it as a shield but it's too late - the legion of psycho sky-gremlins begin their pillaging. The dog flog smack down continues until the beast is left in a rubble of ash. But the rubble of ash still has some cellular activity and takes over SJ's thoughts by making him think he's getting ambushed by his own army. He quickly gathers his thoughts and shakes it off, passes around an arsenal of super-soakers to his gang (filled with a fine mix of Xylene and holy water), strikes a match and tosses it as the final bukakke begins leaving the remaining evil cells smoldering in a crimson fire of carnage.
But... unsatisfied with that, he takes his anger out on the atoms of the evil cells by splitting them and turning the shit sniffer into an exploding H-Bomb ... then kicks the H-Bombs ass for blowing up too close to him. Still angered, SJ takes a radioactive shit on the fucking neighbor's doorstep so toxic it kills the next 300 years of flies within a 600 mile radius. He then rings the doorbell, asks for toilet paper, proudly wipes his deity ass cramming the toilet paper into the neighbors face, blogs about it and rubs one off in victory to himself!
AGENT NEPTUNE
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