Sunday!!! Sunday!!! Sunday!!!

"Sunday!!! Sunday!!! Sunday!!!"

Attention all gods, lords, deities, and other all powerful all knowing enthusiasts!

This Sunday at the Oort Cloud Convention Center we are having a mega-multidimensional extravaganza sale of Universal proportions!

Come on out and mingle with other gods...

BUY! SELL! TRADE!

We have all the superior shit right here! Be sure to check out our package deals on new Planet/Star systems too!!! We got books, videos, special speakers, BILLIONS of booths to choose from for your everyday godlike needs. ALSO, The "Deity Solutions" staff will be available for questioning as well. You'll get the opportunity to see the next step in maintenance free super-ultimate control...

"T.H.O.R."

THOR (Totalitarianistic Harassing Orbiting Robot) comes with a weather modification grid, equipped with 50,000 degrees F, 100,000 mph, 1 BILLION volts per 1000 ft attitude adjusters, Grey Alien repellent and truth suppression. With its persuasive lightning strikes to correct behavior deviations within your lifeforms, this BOT really packs a punch... promoting fear and obedience. THOR also comes packaged with state of the art revolutionary atheist elimination and fundamental ideology enhancers.

For beginners, this one stop shop is located just one light year near the star system "SOL"! Watch out for those pesky comets though. We've been in business 4.6 Billion years serving the needs of gods all across this crazy ass multidimensional Universe.

Promoting the FEAR OF DEATH will make your worship and praise levels fly right off the planetary scale. Time tested and true!

SO WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? A SUPER-NOVA?

THERE'S FREE PARKING TOO!!! 

Lets face it, routine maintenance on your kingdoms can be a real bitch and quite time consuming. It can totally wear your ass out! Resulting in BILLIONS of inhabitants of your worlds to loose faith in you, causing war, disease, poverty and accidental nuclear winters. FUCK THAT SHIT! Take some time off and let THOR take over.

LET'S HAVE A LOOK AT OUR STOCK SHALL WE?

We have shit loads of inventory that must go! Bargain basement prices on everything! We got mind control, pain control, pain-free amendable religion coded Ad-Hoc Bibles with the latest downloaded updates, for the entrepreneurs... we have a civilization start-up seminar with stand in prophets to support your kingly and divine word. AND GET THIS FOLKS!!!! We just got in a whole galactic transport of the new Jesus 2.0 upgrades. Ready for deployment!!! One Jesus not working...fuck it send down three!

We also take in Jesii TRADE IN'S TOO!!!

PUSH

PULL

or

DRAG!!!

Now's the time to also spruce up those burning fires of HELL

with a new and improved 

POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT SATAN!!!

Looking to trade in that old Universe?

 - Have you lost control of your beings?
 - Are they getting out of hand?
 - Have they figured you out? Learned SCIENCE and left you!
 - Is their evolving process of critical thinking rendering you OBSOLETE?

 - Fundamentalism's not keeping up with the evolutionary curve?

Then get a fresh new start with one of these BIG BANGS!

CHECK OUT OUR NEW COMBO'S!!!

1. Single Planet/Star system - 100,000 Neanderthal population, easily influenced and full of FEAR! - Great for Beginners!

2. Multi-Planet/Solar System - 1 million population of pre-industrial society, moldable and fearful... will make sacrifices to you! Guaranteed worship and praise or your money back!

3. The Galaxy Gansta Pimp package - this all inclusive 200,000 light-year in diameter galaxy comes with all the bells and whistles! Ideal for the experienced Deity! Billions of inhabited planets, an endless amount of groveling fearing lifeforms, guaranteed praise and worship! This package also comes with a 15 Billion year limited warranty against supernovas, black holes and meteors! Special financing available!

Pimpin your galaxy is not easy! Being in control of it all can sometimes be a little overwhelming. That's why we have provided real-time up-linking to the Multi-Phasic Universal mainframe giving you that ass-kicking omniscient all knowing power and inflated sense of self esteem!!!

Our 24 Hour on call "Deity Solutions" staff can help you with all your needs and questions!

DS: "Deity Solutions, how can I help you?"
Customer: "Yeah, God124672 here, I can't seem to find my car keys, can you help me?"
DS: "Check beneath the drivers seat of your vehicle, you will find them."
Customer: "Thank You Deity Solutions! You guys are the greatest!"


So unless your mind has slipped on a banana peal and you have accidentally back flipped into the 39th dimension, you better get you ass down here!

Once again...

Sunday!!! Sunday!!! Sunday!!!

Oort Cloud Convention Center!

AGENT NEPTUNE